If you have recently had a break up in your relationship, you may be asking yourself "should I go back with my ex?" The answer to this question should be well thought out to make sure you do not go back to the same situation or for the wrong reason. If you really want your ex back but are afraid that it will be the same old, same old, then this article will help you discover the right answer. Here are some tips.
- The first question that you should ask yourself is "do you really love your ex?" All relationships should be built on love and not convenience or if it is best for the kids. If you do not really love your ex, then your relationship will never make it long term.
- What really went wrong? You must identify the real reason for the break up, the deep down root cause that really started the downward spiral. There may have been cheating or an affair, but was the real reason for these actions the lack of attention or loneliness? Did the relationship just get boring or end in a "rut?" Was there a lack of common goals or interest? Did you or your ex feel not admired or respected? Whatever the reason you must identify the problem and formulate a plan to fix the problem before getting back together.
- Sit down with your ex and talk out the real reason for the break up. Get everything out into the open and try to get to the root cause of why the relationship went wrong. This will help you to come up with a plan to alleviate the problem. Try to come to an agreement that the actual issues have been identified and that both of you can work them out. It has to be an effort by both of you if it is really going to work.
- Remember the positives in the relationship and make a list. What attracted you to your ex to begin with? What do you think your ex liked most about you and got him/her interested in you to begin with? Once you have your list, you will want to return to these things that the two of you did during the courtship phase of your relationship. Your day-by-day life has probably sucked the life out of your relationship. This caused you to quit doing the things that made you happy together in the beginning. Did your list include things any of these?
- Going to the movies together?
- Traveling?
- Hobbies the two of you enjoyed doing together?
- Playing sports or games together?
- Listening to the same bands or music?
- Found each other physically attractive?
- Spent time talking and discussing enjoyable topics?
- Laughed and had fun together?
- Shared good food or restaurants together?
- Spent time thinking up little things to do for each other?
If your list includes actions like these and they worked in the beginning, they will work again. If you are serious about getting back together and you do still love your ex, then get your plan together. Once you have the plan, then work the plan and stick with it. It will not be an overnight adventure to get your relationship back on track.
You can do it if you get your plan together before you start. You are now probably asking yourself "what is the next step?"