When you have broken up, there are any number of theories about how to get your ex back. Our natural urges often times are to try to make them jealous or to use tricks and gimmicks to try to get them back.
Many of our plans involve head games. Pretending that you've got a date or stalking them so you can "bump" into them at the supermarket. Games like this almost always create more problems and pressure for your ex. There are other, more natural and honest ways to get your ex back.
Instead of games, you can keep in touch and keep them thinking about you using natural and honest methods. One approach is to email them on a regular basis with a joke of the week or a news article they might like. Add in a short note about how you're doing or that you are thinking of them and leave it at that. You are in touch without stalking!
Another thing you can do is figure out whether or not you want to date during the time you are trying to get your ex back. It can be good to do so for your self esteem and to keep you from moping around. But don't try to make your ex jealous. Playing games like this can backfire if you do get back together.
In the same vein, don't be jealous if you find your ex is dating others. They aren't cheating on you, since they called the relationship off. And, when they date others, they might just start to feel nostalgic about how comfortable it was to be with you.
By the same token, you can learn some things from what types of people your ex seems to be dating. If you are artistic and poetic and they are dating lawyers or engineers, folks with more focus, that can suggest you need to develop more focus yourself to help get your ex back.
Another great thing you can do during your time apart is to work on yourself. Exercise most every day. This not only helps you to look good physically, but you tend to feel better about yourself. Get back into old hobbies or develop new ones, so that you are improving yourself. This makes you more attractive to your ex and again builds your own self esteem.
You can get your ex back without gimmicks or tricks. Avoid those urges to try to bump into your ex at the supermarket. Do not try to make them jealous. Don't stalk them by phone or in person. If you stay friendly, positive and focused, you can often win back your ex while maintaining your dignity and grace and sense of humor. You can also learn some step by step reconnect strategies that will help you to begin to get your ex back in hours, it doesn't need to take months.
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