In the relationship game, the villain concluded that life is unfair when no hero showed up to save him as a young victim. Then the villain started taking what he deems his due, naturally from those weaker than he is.
Now these players only feel alive when they can exert power over others. In other words, villains have fallen for the fool's gold in the game of life.
First, let me debunk a popular misconception: The villain is not someone else. It is you and I. What distinguishes us from a serial rapist, a professional killer, or the inventor of yet another pyramid scheme, is a mere matter of degree. Maybe we just persuade our adoring assistant to work overtime without compensation, inflate our insurance claims, or flirt to enjoy our partner's jealousy.
Let me show you how to go for the real gold in life.
*Do as you say
The villain in all of us is a fraud. Our words and actions do not tally, and we find plenty of excuses and reasons for those discrepancies. Yet, only players with integrity can win this game. Therefore, each time your family, friends, or neighbors exclaim, 'That is not what you said!' take note, literally, and write it down. Then see if you can act in accordance with your messages in the future.
*Finish what you start
At this stage in your life, you have probably abandoned many projects that you started when a more exciting opportunity came your way. Make a list of all your unfinished business. Then carefully consider one after the other all the activities you have jotted down. Would you feel good about yourself if you completed that item? If you answered yes, circle the endeavor, and continue down the list until you are finished. Begin by concluding the easiest venture from the list. Accomplish the task you set yourself, and watch your self -esteem soar.
*Take Responsibility for Your Actions
The villain in all of us justifies our harmful actions. Without taking responsibility, apologizing to others, and forgiving ourselves, we do not improve. We stay stuck in our old ways while others pass us by. That is why villains lose the game. To change your self-destructive pattern make a list of all the things you do that harm others. Also, note down your justification for your behavior so that your thinking process becomes clear to you. Now consider your harmful actions, and take responsibility for your part. After all, no one is watching.
The villain in all of us refuses change. However, that is a losing proposition. Winning is about constantly improving, and developing more of our potential. Start with doing what you say, finishing what you started, and owning up to your deeds. Free yourself of your own shadow.
Author Resource:-
Loy Combs, a relationship researcher and consultant for over forty years, teaches you the secret rules of the relationship game. Extract yourself from conflict and begin a new life. Get your free relationship test to determine your position on this chessboard called life at http://www.loycombs.com
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