"The two greatest causes of suffering in life are not loving and not doing what you want to do." John Gray in "How to Get What You Want and Want What You Have."
Think of your average two-year-old and you'll get a feel for how powerful the drive is in all of us to do what we want to do. We may refine our approach over time and adapt to social norms, but we always strive to fulfill our wants.
Move ahead a few years and picture this same two-year-old at seven or eight. What question do adults ask children most often?
"What do you want to do when you grow up, Johnny?"
By adolescence, some youngsters already have a clear sense of what they want to do. Many schools offer opportunities for beginning career exploration. Most high schools expand these opportunities, letting kids explore their options more fully.
What we are really doing in this process is asking, "How can I have a meaningful career? How can I express my purpose in the world?"
The challenge for all of us is that other questions and concerns enter into the career development process and sometimes they obscure the relationship between life purpose and career.
What are these other questions and concerns?
They are questions and concerns about income, job availability and career path. If they become the primary focus for young adults, those concerns can drown out the deeper, more important question of, "What is my life purpose and how can I express that in a meaningful career?
For example, let's say a young man loves music. He has the talent and passion and he decides to immerse himself in the study of music to become a musician. Very quickly his mental conversation goes something like this.
"How will I be able to make a living through my music? Everybody says most people don't make a good living as a musician. Maybe I should get a degree in Education, too, so at least I can teach music; then I can be a musician 'on the side."
Notice what has happened.
His focus has moved from becoming a wonderful musician to creating doubt about whether he'll be able to have both his dream job and a dream income to go with it. He's allowed doubt to creep in.
Once that happens, he becomes fearful. To the extent he is afraid, his heart will close down. The longer his heart is closed, the more doubt and fear will reign and the less passion and joy for his purpose will be expressed.
Perhaps he'll get that job in education and do a good job. He'll join a group so he can be a musician on the side. But if being a musician is really his passion, he will always long for a fuller expression of his life purpose.
What happens to us when we are not fulfilling our purpose through our career?
The joy and passion we felt early in our life diminishes. We go through the days just going through the motions. We may become small and fearful in other ways, not going for other dreams.
We may resent others who have achieved their dreams in our field. We may be filled with longing for a dream that we think has died but we no longer believe we can have.
We become, in other words, zombies. We go through the motions, but there's no life connected to passion; no energy.
And that is suffering.
Think about how much energy and work we spend toward uncovering and developing our interests and talents. Doesn't it make sense for us to continue to move that energy forward to creating our dream career?
When we have a dream career along with a dream income, we are happy and excited every day. Work feels like play. We have a sense of anticipation about what's next.
Quincy Jones, the award-winning jazz musician, once said, "I love getting up every morning and going to my piano."
For him, composing and playing music is his passion. That's what he stayed focused on. As he did, the rewards and recognition came.
He is living his purpose. His career has meaning. His work expresses who he is.
He likely has challenges in his life as we all do. But he is not experiencing the suffering John Gray refers to in the quotation above.
If you are suffering because you're not expressing your purpose, maybe it's time to reconnect to that young child or that young adult who was so optimistic and hopeful. Open your heart to the passion and purpose within and see what happens.
You might be surprised.
Author Resource:-
Anita Web Weaver is the owner of Design to Shine Consulting, offering coaching, mentoring and speaking services to help people shine, no matter what, in their career, their life and their health.
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