Learning to successfully resolve relationship conflicts is an essential life skill that is missing in our formal education. Conflicts can range from simple to complex but they all have a basic underlying premise. Once understood, you can successfully resolve even the most complex issues.
George Elliot said it best, It Is Never Too Late To Become What You Might Have Been. Let me show you how to begin anew. First you need to understand the basic relationship plot and its progression.
* Adversity And More Adversities
The beginning relationship plot, the starring role for the victim in all of us is Goodness Triumphs Over Adversity. You develop your strength by literally surviving one misfortune after another. Finally, feeling good about yourself, you proudly hail, I know one thing for sure, I am a survivor. When you reach that true sense of self esteem, you have just won the beginning round.
*Adversity Becomes Adversary
Now the script advances, still about Goodness Triumphing but now Goodness Triumphs Over Bad Guys. In a conflict, each clamor for the victim Good Guy role, trying to prove the other person is the bad guy or gal.
* Becoming a Lawyer
Each player strives to win by attacking the others faults and weaknesses, leaving no stone unturned much like a tenacious lawyer. In the end, it is hard to tell the victim from the villain and even harder to determine who won the battle.
* Digging Up Archeological Ruins
If you did lose that quarrel, it is totally permissible to dig up the past. After all you now must prove that your relationship partner is much worse than you no matter what harmful act you just did. Only then are you justified.
* Most Advanced is the Evil Adversary
Pull both of you out of the emotional trance before the conflict advances from bad guy to Goodness Triumphs Over Evil. Leave that for the crusades, suicide bombers, zealots of righteous causes, or homicides of relationship dramas gone out of control.
* How To Win The Battle Without Losing The War
Go back to the beginning role. See the two of you as good victims with an adversity to triumph over, not each other. Say with great passion, intensity and strength, STOP! You are a GOOD person, I am a GOOD person. We have a hardship to surmount. Let us team together and be victorious.
Why not become one of the first pioneers to dare to do the impossible, revise the script. The Good in You and The Good in Me can Triumph together over any adversity. Now Living Happily Ever After is within reach.
Author Resource:-
Loy Combs, a relationship researcher and consultant for over forty years, reveals the secret rules of the relationship game. Extract yourself from drama and begin a new life. Get your free relationship test to determine your position on this chessboard called life at http://www.loycombs.com
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