I believe in love and long term relationships. I think that monogamous marriage as a social arrangement and a way to structure a family is truly a good thing. I think children should have a father and a mother living in a home together for their entire childhood. Although I recognize that this is not always possible, the stability of nuclear family should at least be the goal and divorce should be the last resort. The naysayers and dare I say, the feminists, will protest that single parent families are just as good as two parent homes. The statistics on the outcomes of fatherless children and children exposed to the turmoil of divorce reveal the sad truth and need not be repeated here.
The problem I have with marriage is how it manifests itself in divorce courts today and how it intensifies into the total destruction of so many families. I am entering my seventh year of a divorce battle so intense that is hard to believe. My struggle appears like a surreal nightmare to myself, my family and friends who have witnessed it. For more than two hundred appearances in court in six different legal actions related to my divorce I have experienced some of the worst of our legal system has to offer. In my seventh year of battle to see my children and stay out of debtors prison I have learned much about life and the divorce courts.
I have wanted to share my story for several years but have hesitated for the sake on my children. My kids are older now, and we are getting closer and closer to a normal relationship. I might have waited a while longer before starting to write this but we have a new Judge on our case that is determined to throw me in jail. She (the Judge) would gladly deprive my children of the support they now receive to send me to jail and says so at every court date. The latest motion from the other side asks only that I am incarcerated and not a monetary judgment. My ex wife will gladly trade the $2,700.00 she receives in support each month for having me jailed and that pretty much sums up the rationality of my ex, her attorney and the Judge.
Would you like to know how I really feel about divorce courts in Cook County?
Divorce in Cook County Illinois is a totally out of control "free for all" with the attorneys destroying the families for their own monetary benefit. Do you think that is too strong a generalization? I do not think so. I have seen divorce attorneys wantonly break court orders, commit felony fraud, intimidate witnesses, file frivolous law suits, take money out of escrow without a court order, and tell every sort of lie imaginable. They promote more and more litigation as a solution to all problems while burning through the families assets. The divorce litigation is only over when the money is gone.
Do you wonder how this is allowed to happen? The judges and governing agencies promote such behavior by ignoring it. With a system so broken, the horrors of divorce outweigh the benefit of marriage.
This book will be not only the story of my journey through the divorce courts, but a guide for those who do not want to make all the same mistakes I made. "The Case Against Marriage"
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